Do you feel like an Infertile Myrtle?

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HI, There. 

Let me introduce myself. My name is Amelia Mimi Brown. Most people call me, Mimi (I’ve had the nickname since I was 2). 

In 2012, I married the most incredible man, Aaron Brown aka Mr.Brown (We call him Mr.Brown, because one day I asked him what he wanted our future children to call him and he said with a straight face, “Mr.Brown”, they need to learn respect early) LOL He was totally joking but it stuck. And now some of my colleagues refer to me as “Mr.Brown” Secretly, I don’t think they know his actual first name. 

He makes me laugh like no other, he creates delicious meals as a culinary student, and he loves me like there is no tomorrow. 

But I digress — When we first got married, we weren’t trying to have a baby and we weren’t stopping it. But after a year, I thought it was odd that nothing seemed to be happening. I talked to some of my friends and they said, “oh, Mimi don’t worry about it you’re so young, (I was 28 when we got married), just give it time and have “fun” trying. 

Well that didn’t sit in my spirit the right way. I mean I reflected on how for my young adulthood, I tried every to NOT get pregnant and here is my chance to make it happen, get it in, bump uglies wth no dire consequences and nada, zip, zlich— was happening and I was concerned. Truth be told, My parents had scared the crap out of me about pregnancy. \. At one point, I thought it was the absolute worst thing that could happen to a young women. I remember my Daddy saying to me, “Don’t be bringing no babies in the house and I am not taking care of them” So that stuck with me for a really long time. Then all of sudden this shift happened. When I got engaged and we were headed towards getting married, it seems like they were counting down the days until they got a grand baby. It was such a stark difference that I use to joke about. Damn, Dad. You were pulling me away from sex and now you’re pushing me into it. 

That’s the natural order of life. 

But back to this unsettling in my spirit— I went to the doctor and shared my concerns. At first, she told me the same thing everyone else did. Oh, you’re so young, don’t worry about it. 

Just keep trying but after I had revealed that we had been trying for a year. Her tone changed. Her body shifted. Her face  dropped.  At that moment I didn’t realize that my life would change. That moment was pivotal for me. 

We received the diagnoses of “Infertile” but I really didn’t know what that meant. Thinking back, I was probably just in denial ( and not the river in Africa) l and didn’t have any clue what was looming ahead for me. 

She ran some test and diagnosed me with PCOS ( Gotta love the gnarly side effects like chin hair growth, adult ache (though I had dodged that bullet after 17, it’s like middle school all over again, YAY!) weight gain, and the dreaded “I” word infertility. To add even more layers to the situation— I had this little baby fibroid (a benign tumor that is compromised of loads of connective tissue) growing on the top of my uterus and my doctor informed me that we would just “watch” it. Sometimes they interfere with pregnancy other times women have no issues. 

We watched grow to the size of my fist. How is that for being an over achiever? 

Well I will stop the story here. And pick it up another day. . I didn’t realize that so many women are struggling with the same thing I am.  I’ve decided to write a book about my fertility experience. Keeping a humorous tone to it. Hoping that it helps other women, laugh a little and not go insane in the process. 

Please introduce yourself. Share your story. I find it helpful to write and to hear about what other women are going through. 


Love to meet you!

How to Explain Infertility to a 10 Year Old

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Yesterday I had the pleasure of getting my hair done by my best friend, Elyse. She’s super talented and we’ve known each other since we were 12. Bad ache, bad hair, good friends. 

She has two wonderful kids, Elizabeth, 10 and Elijah, 3. 

And like any kids, they ask questions. Lots of questions. Especially Elizabeth. She is very inquisitive, quick-witted, and smart as a whip. 

In many concerns that Elyse and I have, she confides in me about how to respond to questions that Elizabeth (Liz) might have. Recently in school, she’s in the 4th grade, they started teaching them about the reproductive system. I chucked  because Elyse nor Marcus (her fantastic hubby) were ready. And what Ive learned is that it’s not as much about what they learn in school it really comes down to the questions that they ask afterwards. For example, Liz learned about how babies are made from the technical standpoint and then had follow-up questions for Elyse about what is sperm. I can’t imagine having to answer that question and frame it for a 10 year old. 


Well, lucky me, I came close. 

While getting my hair done, I was sharing with Elyse that I had to have a myomectomy , which is having a fibroid removed from my uterus. As I was getting ready to go into more detail, Liz whiz in and says, “Auntie Mimi, why do you need to have surgery?” 

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! How do I answer this for a 10 year old I thought? It’s already a challenge to answer this for my adult family let alone a tiny human.

I looked to Elyse for guidance, just a glance that it was okay to proceed and took a big breathe and went for it. 

For just a second, I echoed back to conversations that Elyse and I had about how she goes about explaining things to Elizabeth. First rule, don’t lie. Tell the truth. You want them to be aimed with the correct information. Second rule, use proper terms, so that they aren’t calling body parts by weird names, ( I once had a coworker who’s 7 year old grand daughter called her vagina her front butt. In her mind, she had a front butt and a back butt) Imagine how embossing that will be for her later when she is calling stuff by it’s wrong name!

Third rule, is give the basics but not too much information. Just enough for them to understand but hopefully not too many follow-up questions. 

That’s a lot to wrap your head around in with only 2.5 seconds of processing time. Somewhat confidently, I started to explain. 

“Well, Liz I heard that you just learned about how babies are made. The reason I am having the surgery is so that Uncle Aaron and I can have a baby. “ I could tell by the look on her face that a follow-up question was coming.  “Auntie Mimi, what’s wrong?, she asked with inquisitive but concerned tone.” 

My mind was racing for a good analogy or explantation. 

Ahhh, I thought. I got it. 

I proceeded to start to pose my hands, and create an upside down triangle like a delta sign. 

“Liz, see the mini triangle in the middle of my hands?” If you imagine a women’s reproductive parts that would be considered the uterus. The uterus is where a baby is held and it grows. You know your Auntie Bean’s belly ( Elyse’s youngest sister is pregnant, so it helps with the visualization) well her baby is growing inside the uterus. It protects the baby while it grows. Well, the inside of my uterus is fine but there is something called a fibroid on the outside. A fibroid is a thing that is made up of a bunch of muscles and it can reek havoc on a women’s uterus. Sometimes they stop you from having a baby. So I am having surgery to remove it. 

Sweat was creeping down my back and I kinda held my breathe waiting for her response. And he looked at me and simply said, Okay Auntie Mimi. Mommy and I will come to visit you. And that was it.

Phew, I dodged that freight train. 

But this experience reminds me that even a 10 year old wants to route for you. Understand. Put things in perspective. 

And if I can explain something to a ten year old. I got this!  What would you say if you were in my shoes?